Matthew Toffolo: What gave you the idea to write this very short story?
Craig Faustus Buck: I saw a flash fiction challenge to write a 50-word story. I’m a sucker for writing challenges, especially short ones I can finish in one sitting. It’s a great way to procrastinate from working on my next novel (a process not unlike drowning in a bottomless ocean). Here’s my response to a six-word story challenge: “I missed her. Shot him instead.” As you can tell, I write noir. But sometimes a challenge comes along that I can’t resist, which is how I wrote my one and only tale of zombie erotica for an anthology called Fifty Shades of Decay. My life is Fifty Shades of Procrastination.
2) How many stories/screenplays have you written?
I’ve written hundreds of screenplays during my career, mostly for television, though a short film I wrote got nominated for an Oscar sometime during the Pleistocene era. Now I mostly write crime stories starring doomed characters with a comic edge. I write the kinds of stories I love to read. I’ve written dozens of them, many of which are available for free on my website CraigFaustusBuck.com.
3) What movie have you watched the most times in your life?
I’d guess I’ve watched The Maltese Falcon more times than any other. I’m not a big fan of rewatching movies. Once I know the writer’s surprises, films lose their excitement for me. The Falcon is an exception, as is Casablanca, pretty much any Marx Brothers movie, and the Thin Man movies. I love a lot of more recent films, but for some reason I lose patience with them if I try to watch them a second or third time.
4) What’s your favorite thing about twitter? What’s your least favorite thing about twitter?
My favorite thing about Twitter is being able to bitch about products to manufacturers and usually get an apologetic response that is sometimes fruitful. That rarely happens with Email or a phone call. My least favorite thing is trying to keep up with all the Tweets that come my way. I think I follow too many people. I’m a bad follower.
5) Who would you really like to have dinner with? (dead or alive)
The entire Algonquin Round Table group. I mean, how can you resist such dinner repartee as Dorothy Parker, when challenged to use the word “horticulture” in a sentence, replied: “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.” Or Robert Sherwood, describing cowboy star Tom Mix: “They say he rides as if he’s part of the horse, but they don’t say which part.”
Or George S. Kaufman who, when asked by a press agent, “How do I get my leading lady’s name into your newspaper?” replied, “Shoot her.” I can just imagine the fun of LMFAO with that crew (who described themselves as The Vicious Circle). As you can tell, I tend to romanticize people and art that occurred before my time. Just look at my Twitter story. I mean, who travels with hat boxes anymore?
Watch Twitter Story:
Performed by Carina Cojeen
Hat Box by Craig Faustus Buck
We stared at the body in shock. The conductor, the porter and me, the unfortunate passenger who happened to notice blood dripping from the suitcase in the overhead. A young woman, no more than ninety pounds with her head, now several pounds lighter without. I dreaded the matching hatbox.